Nerdgirl: (Un)Sexy Halloween
By Jenn Zipp
There’s all this talk about Halloween at work. Everyone wants to dress up.
”I want to be sexy. I want to be Rihanna.”
”I want to be a ballerina… but a sexy ballerina.”
”I’m going as Pocahontas… but sexy Pocahontas.”
”What about an ostrich… but a sexy ostrich?”
”I think I’m going as Samantha Ronson… but a sexy Samantha Ronson.”
It’s just too much for me. Why does everyone want to be a sexy something or other? Whatever happened to the days of buying a mask from Walgreens and going as Rainbow Brite? Whatever happened to covering up and disguising what you are instead of flaunting all that you have?
My co-worker came up to me and said “I think I want to go as Jem and the Rockers.”
”You mean Jem and the Holograms.”
”Whatever, I just want to go as Jem.”
”Are you gonna have the pink hair?” I asked.
”I dunno.”
”Well you have to have the pink hair and the star shaped earrings. And you need to say ‘Show time, Synergy!’ when you want to transform into Jem.” I explained.
”What?”
”She was Jerrica Benton… she ran an orphanage by day and before her father died, he built her this robot mother machine called Synergy that she could call on for help. And Synergy would change her into Jem and her hair would go pink and she’d wear mini skirts and rock out.”
“Why do you know so much about Jem and the Rockers?”
”Because they’re Jem and the Holograms. And, I dunno, that’s the ultimate escapist idea for me growing up. That a secret machine mother would transform me into something so uber cool and something that I’m not. So… that’s. Well, I mean, you’re the one that wants to go as Jem. Why do you know so little?”
”I dunno. I just wanted to go as Jem because I saw these Alice and Olivia shoes at Target and they’re only sixteen dollars. I just thought that it would go nicely with Jem and the Rockers.”
Obviously Halloween means something incredibly different to me than it does for anyone else. Maybe I should go as Jem and the Rockers. Holograms. Whatever.