just a bit
By Christopher Longoria
hard to explain where i am. many places, many faces at once. pace of life observerved in footnotes, felt completely in the blood level. with the thinker’s eye i stomp grounds clearing space for those i keep safe. some would say this is all nonsense, all uncalculated words, for fear that the strange connection of splattered thought may actually have meaning and illustrate captures of life only a voodoo man like myself has strength of soul to witness. i exist in babylon. allowing myself to be confused to better understand the beast i feed from and ultimately must drive an ambivalent stake through.
as though the chrysalis covered soul is sprayed with images of inhumane behavior repetitively to teach me an inherent human law. shotgun scatter against me. my mind is full and swallowing every second of every instance of every small thing unnoticed. i am an owl. many things i let pass. i watch an experience’s nature unfurl and record its effect on all in my vicinity. vitality. planes of vision blend in my eyesight. hard to talk straight, slick talk, slick man, dollar bills. common interaction is to agree to partake in the stalemate purgatory of the mediocre yet still the rage’s fire in the passionate stars that fell to earth as humans burn out just as quickly. i will see your tuesday and raise you friday. and again. it is not the illusion of an escape i ponder. it is not the belief of a redemption that drive my actions. i have almost conquered appetite, but it is not the inside eating its way out. it is to be a separate entity. therein the pain that follows of understanding how to fit. my mind is not separate from myself. and i am not separate from she or him. i am not separate from that which houses me or confines me to gravity. i listen for everything’s own language to teach me the unnoticed truth it shares. my poor friends whose straight lines smudge. my way is transparent, but my effect is not. the points i make in speech are constellations, the point is to connect them on your own. This is an offering of the eyes.